Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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