oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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