i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
