she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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