I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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