i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize