You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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