theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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