I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
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