Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Dignity is for republicans.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
