So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
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