$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
