in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
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