Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
