Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Randomize
