Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
