He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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