There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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