I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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