so that wasnt chicken after all
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize