Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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