shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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