shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
