He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
