With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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