We're facebook friends in real life
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
