its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
