When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
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