today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
