WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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