Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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