we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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