that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
