I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize