I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
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