He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
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