Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
