Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
