This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
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Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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