so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
