that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Your shirt... Was in my pants
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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