It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
