well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
