If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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