I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
