Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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