I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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