ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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