Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize