Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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