we have pet lesbian snakes
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
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