we should wear snuggies to the strip club
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
