I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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