I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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