Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
they need to just BURY HIM!
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
