Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
