They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Just pee around me
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
