i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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