don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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