Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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