I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
