Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Randomize
