He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
21 Times Karma Showed These People Not to Mess Around
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea