she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
19 People Confess The Worst Things They Have Been Accused Of
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
But break dance skills will only take you so far
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?