If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Randomize
