i jhust puked up my retainher.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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