if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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