like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize