What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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