I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
