And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
