I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Randomize
