Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
