we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
