Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
