We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize